I haven't blogged in a while. I miss it. I miss the laughs, the interactions, the pleasant distractions. I miss the reading!! And yet the time it takes to write books, and read books and then write blog posts about those books, is--well, for me it's a lot, and to my great regret I simply haven't been able to do continue doing both. Not to the degree that I wish to, at any rate.
But I ask myself, which is more enjoyable, more rewarding? Which would I rather spend my precious time doing? Writing reviews is thoroughly entertaining, if only to myself. I can share my thoughts about what I've read without the concerns of, "What will they think? Will they like it? What if they don't?" You get the point. Reviewing is fun. It's a treat. It's a way to interact with other readers who take pleasure from similar books and who share similar ideas about what we read. It's a chance to be my silly-self and have fellow-readers interact positively (most of the time) and find enjoyment in what I've written. So, in that way, reviewing is a mental-recreational activity that I look upon with much delight. And yet, my heart is left wanting for still, reviewing lacks something. It lacks depth.
Writing a novel on the other hand is as different as Starsky is from Hutch. It's beautiful, rich, and yet horrendously painful for a women of very little brain, such as myself. (I say that tongue-and-cheek.) I'm no Dickens, no Austen and certainly no Leigh. That much is already clear. But as with all writers, baring so much of yourself in a literary work of any kind exposes you to a certain amount of vulnerability that no amount of "I can take anything" will shield you from. It's in those head-banging moments when I think to myself, "Self, what are you doing? Quit this madness and go back to reviewing. That was fun and it didn't hurt your head as much."
But I can't. Writing is God's call for me (which came as a flying bolder out of the clear blue sky... that's a story for another day) and that is why--despite the unasked for pains--I can't give it up. Even if it hurts a bit more, even if I don't get all the positive returns, it's the God-given strength, peace, and fulfillment that keeps me going. I love writing for Him, I love writing to keep American history alive-- I love writing for the joy of it. And hopefully over the years I will continue to improve in my craft and my head will callus from the banging.
So, the question remains--will I keep reviewing? Yes and no. I can no longer write reviews on all the books I read, no matter how much I would like to. However, I will continue to give them a rating and post that here. If it's a book that I am head-over-heels about then I'm sure I'll write an in-depth review, I can't help myself! Since reviews will be few in number, I plan to find new and creative ways to interact with my fellow readers. You are all so much fun, I can't not keep in contact with you!
I appreciate your patience in allowing me to share my inner-workings. Not that you really had a choice... I did force it on you, didn't I. *BWAHAHAHA* *eh hem*
Here's to many more Best of the Bests. ;)