Saturday, January 24, 2015

The inner musings of an insignificant writer/reader

I haven't blogged in a while. I miss it. I miss the laughs, the interactions, the pleasant distractions. I miss the reading!! And yet the time it takes to write books, and read books and then write blog posts about those books, is--well, for me it's a lot, and to my great regret I simply haven't been able to do continue doing both. Not to the degree that I wish to, at any rate.

But I ask myself, which is more enjoyable, more rewarding? Which would I rather spend my precious time doing? Writing reviews is thoroughly entertaining, if only to myself. I can share my thoughts about what I've read without the concerns of, "What will they think? Will they like it? What if they don't?" You get the point. Reviewing is fun. It's a treat. It's a way to interact with other readers who take pleasure from similar books and who share similar ideas about what we read. It's a chance to be my silly-self and have fellow-readers interact positively (most of the time) and find enjoyment in what I've written. So, in that way, reviewing is a mental-recreational activity that I look upon with much delight. And yet, my heart is left wanting for still, reviewing lacks something. It lacks depth.

Writing a novel on the other hand is as different as Starsky is from Hutch. It's beautiful, rich, and yet horrendously painful for a women of very little brain, such as myself. (I say that tongue-and-cheek.) I'm no Dickens, no Austen and certainly no Leigh. That much is already clear. But as with all writers, baring so much of yourself in a literary work of any kind exposes you to a certain amount of vulnerability that no amount of "I can take anything" will shield you from. It's in those head-banging moments when I think to myself, "Self, what are you doing? Quit this madness and go back to reviewing. That was fun and it didn't hurt your head as much."

But I can't. Writing is God's call for me (which came as a flying bolder out of the clear blue sky... that's a story for another day) and that is why--despite the unasked for pains--I can't give it up. Even if it hurts a bit more, even if I don't get all the positive returns, it's the God-given strength, peace, and fulfillment that keeps me going. I love writing for Him, I love writing to keep American history alive-- I love writing for the joy of it. And hopefully over the years I will continue to improve in my craft and my head will callus from the banging.

So, the question remains--will I keep reviewing? Yes and no. I can no longer write reviews on all the books I read, no matter how much I would like to. However, I will continue to give them a rating and post that here. If it's a book that I am head-over-heels about then I'm sure I'll write an in-depth review, I can't help myself! Since reviews will be few in number, I plan to find new and creative ways to interact with my fellow readers. You are all so much fun, I can't not keep in contact with you!

I appreciate your patience in allowing me to share my inner-workings. Not that you really had a choice... I did force it on you, didn't I. *BWAHAHAHA* *eh hem*

Here's to many more Best of the Bests. ;)
HAPPY READING!

12 comments:

  1. BWAHAHAHAH back at you, Amber! I'm so glad you're following God's call, and I look forward to seeing where He leads you. Blessings, friend!

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    1. Thank you, Tamara! You are a God-given friend, that's for certain. :)

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  2. I type in a comment - it takes me to a sign-in page - I sign in, come back, and my comment is gone! Do I type it again? It does this to me all the time. Here's what I said: I'm looking forward to reading your stories, Amber! Who does your covers? So here goes, clicking 'Publish' again! Blessings from Texas :)

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    1. Caryl!!! I'm sorry about that--blogger is a pain sometimes! I do appreciate you commenting. I know you are doing great things as you follow God's path in your writing and I love what I learn from you. Thank you for being such a light for Him. Blessings to you from Washington! ;) HUGS!

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  3. I'm so glad you know writing is your calling and you are following hard after that! I know your feelings. I love interviewing authors on my blog but have had to pull back drastically and basically drop off blogging nearly altogether, so I can keep writing books. Also pulling back on influencing/endorsing as I have such limited reading time when writing. But writing is so rewarding, as you said...even if it's not tangible rewards. All the best as you go this direction, Amber!

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    1. Hi Heather! I love knowing that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and what you are experiencing as well--thank you! You know how much I value your insight!!! I am very often thinking "I wonder what Heather would do/think about this?!" Serious!!!! Blessings for you as well!!!

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  4. I give you "kudos" on being honest with yourself. Trying to become more aware of your limitations along with a grasp on the realities of what are already the responsibilities on your plate. You are a wife. . . a mother. . . and I would assume still a daughter to a mother and father. . . and possibly a sister to other siblings. And with these titles carries demands on your life. - - - Now you try to add on a writing / reviewing / blogging career and you're stretching the fine line of sanity very thin. I am not a writer - - only an avid reader - - and while I may be greedily anticipating the next book - - I also must acknowledge the price paid by the person who gifts me with said entertainment. You can only do so much Amber and wise is the woman who analyzes the demands on her and prioritizes them. God has given you a husband and children - these are gifts and responsibilities not to be taken lightly. There are other obligations that you must attend to that are high on the priority list. And then . . . . you get to that part of you that is outside of the demands, the necessities, the responsibilities - - it is that part of you that breaths and sighs and creates. This is the writer. This is where you release the constraints, unbind your hair, and run free through that grassy meadow. This is where you allow the Holy Spirit free reign to speak and you listen totally absorbed in the sway of His voice. This is where you feel that anything is possible . . everything is possible. . . and you know it's possible. To dream. . . to create. . . to write. . . and yes, even to become absorbed in conflicts, in struggles, in emotions, in romance, in everyday life . . . but it's your time to write. . . freely and with restrictions. So it's ok Amber - - to prioritize your life - - to pull back from the things that are too demanding at this point - - to rearrange your schedule - - to just put some things on the "back burner" for now - - perhaps they will return to the front burner at another time - - perhaps at a better time than now. Life is all about adjusting - and readjusting - and it will change again. So say "yes" to what is important at this time - - and it's ok to say "no" to what must be side-lined - - and to say "hello" to what is new and even to say "goodbye" to what must be ended. Achieve the balance that is good for you - - it's not about achieving a balance that's good for someone else - - they can find their own - - it's about finding your balance so that you are one with your family and God - - - as long as the voice that matters says "Well done thou good and faithful servant" - - then that's all that matters. Don't worry Amber - - all things are possible with God.

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    1. Pam!!! I can't thank you enough for sharing such a fabulous message. I am so grateful to have you as a reader friend. Your thoughts and insights are a great blessings to me, and I find myself going back and thinking about what you just said over and over. I always strive to have balance and peace in my life, and like you said--that's a balancing act in itself! LOL Thank you for being so understanding and kind!!!!!!! God bless you, Pam!

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  5. Opps - - I meant to write "freely and withOUT restrictions" - - I told you I'm not a write - LOL!!

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  6. can i just be selfish for a moment and say, "nooooo!!!, I want lots and lots more reviews!!" Ok, selfish moment over. no guilt and no judgment from this busy mama. Do what's best for you and your family and what God is leading you to do. i will read whatever you do manage to review and be thankful for it! God's blessings

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    1. Ashton! How did I miss this?! I'm sorry! Your support and understanding mean so much to me, bless you for that!!! I do hope I will be able to review here and there and like I said---I want to find little ways to keep in touch with readers as much as I can. Have a wonderful day!!

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